Whole Kids Project

Fathers for Good

Fathers for Good, an initiative of the Knights of Columbus, now has a series of parenting podcasts.

Fathers for Good is a fairly new site but it already has a good number of useful resources for dads.

Boys Should Be Boys

As a follow-up to yesterday's post regarding raising strong daughters, I also want to let you know that Dr. Meg Meeker has written a book about raising boys: Boys Should Be Boys.

Check it out!

Raising Strong Daughters

Dr. Meg Meeker on raising strong daughters. Dr. Meeker's book - Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters,  is excellent by the way!

Playground Drama

MSNBC.com has  an article about the drama that can sprout up among playgroup parents:

Emily Lewis, 29, a mom of two who lives near Petersburg, Va., once received an e-mail threatening suspension from her playgroup organizer because her son had reportedly been pushing another small child. “I know he did no such thing,” she says. “It caused me a lot of anxiety. I always had to be on guard for what someone might say so we wouldn’t get kicked out.”

Lewis eventually dropped out, and she’s vowed to avoid any more formally organized playgroups in her new town. “It takes the civility out of it. Rather than just talking to each other about their problems, people take their problems to the club officers. It just ends in suspicion and hurt feelings.”

Others find playgroup dramas tend to be simple cases of personality clashes.

“It was exactly like back to high school,” recalls Stacey Devendorf, 33, a real estate agent in Lynn, Mass., who never fully clicked with her daughter’s playgroup. “If you worked, had political views, even music tastes that differed, you were ostracized. The women that deviated left the group or didn’t feel welcome.”

My take is that play goups have always been more about the parents than the kids. 

Why not just go to the park- play with your kids or bring a book along.  Be polite to the other parents but don't make them the center of your attention.

The Invisible Mother

We received the following story via a chain email and thought that it is worth sharing with all of you.  I don't know who wrote it- if you know, please let us know so that we can properly attribute the story.

THE INVISIBLE MOTHER

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe.

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my child to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM!

Letting Kids Learn On Their Own

From Ted.com:

In 1999, Sugata Mitra and his colleagues dug a hole in a wall bordering an urban slum in New Delhi, installed an Internet-connected PC, and left it there (with a hidden camera filming the area). What they saw was kids from the slum playing around with the computer and in the process learning how to use it and how to go online, and then teaching each other.

In the following years they replicated the experiment in other parts of India, urban and rural, with similar results, challenging some of the key assumptions of formal education. The "Hole in the Wall" project demonstrates that, even in the absence of any direct input from a teacher, an environment that stimulates curiosity can cause learning through self-instruction and peer-shared knowledge. Mitra, who's now a professor of educational technology at Newcastle University (UK), calls it "minimally invasive education."

Kids can do amazing things- sometimes we just need to get out of their way!

Heritage Foundation: Parent's Influence on Teen Sexual Activity

Just received this email from the National Coalition regarding a Heritage Foundation study of the influence of parents in teen's sexual decisions:

In its August Family Facts edition, the Heritage Foundation released their top ten findings concerning the impact of parental involvement in teens’ sexual decisions.

Not surprisingly, each fact confirms what the National Coalition has been saying for years—parents are the number one influence in their children’s lives and greatly affect their attitudes regarding sexual activity.

Following are the Heritage Foundation’s top ten findings:

1. Delayed sexual behavior. Youths who report higher quality relationships with their mothers and who feel their mothers highly disapprove of their having sex are more likely to delay sexual activity. Click here for full details.
2. Reduction in teen pregnancy. Adolescent girls who feel their mothers highly disapprove of their having sex and say they had a very good relationship with their mothers are less likely than other peers to become pregnant. Click here for full details.
3. Reduction in number of sexual partners. On average, youths who feel that their mothers hold more liberal views on teen sexual activity have more sexual partners than peers who believe their mothers hold less liberal views on teen sex. Click here for full details.
4. Youth sexual activity. Teen girls who say they have a close relationship with their fathers are less likely to become sexually active. Click here for full details.
5. Youth abstinence. Adolescents whose parents discuss what is right and wrong in sexual behavior are more likely to remain abstinent than peers who do not have such talks with their parents. Click here for full details.
6. Parent/child discussions. In spite of peers’ behavior that would encourage sexual activity, adolescents who engage in discussions with their parents about sex are less likely to be sexually active or have fewer partners than youth who do not have such talks with their parents. Click here for full details.
7. Delayed sexual behavior. Adolescent girls whose mothers communicate with their friends’ parents tend to become sexually active at a later age. Click here for full details.
8. Risky behavior. Teens who are closely monitored by their parents are less likely to take risks regarding sexual behavior. Click here for full details.
9. Parental rules. Adolescents whose parents set clear rules are less likely to have had sexual intercourse than peers whose parents did not. Click here for full details.
10. Setting limits. Teens whose parents set limits on their television viewing or watch television with them are less likely to initiate sexual activity. Click here for full details.

To help parents, student leaders, and teens combat the sexual trends among today’s youth, the National Coalition developed a curriculum called Sex & Young America. This interactive discussion series helps initiate open and honest conversation about sex. For more information and to learn more about the curriculum, please visit www.nationalcoalition.org.

Folks- this is common sense that applies to every facet of your kids' lives.  The more involved you are, the more of an influence you will be.  This applies to diet and nutrition, academic performance, and spiritual development.

Parental influence cuts both ways- good and bad.

As a parent, what kind of a role model are you? What do your words and actions say to your kids?

France Bans TV Shows for Babies

From USA Today:

The council's ruling aims to prevent the development of such programming on French channels. It also orders French cable operators that air foreign channels with programs for babies to broadcast warning messages to parents. The messages will read: "Watching television can slow the development of children under 3, even when it involves channels aimed specifically at them."

The ruling cites health experts as saying that interaction with other people is crucial to early child development.

"Television viewing hurts the development of children under 3 years old and poses a certain number of risks, encouraging passivity, slow language acquisition, over-excitedness, troubles with sleep and concentration as well as dependence on screens," the ruling said.

When BabyFirstTV first aired in the United States in 2006, it escalated an already heated national debate. The American Academy of Pediatrics has said babies should be kept away from television altogether.

Our friends at the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood (CCFC) successfully fought marketing claims made by Baby Einstein and Brainy Baby.  The FTC has yet to respond to the CCFC's letter of complaint against BabyFirstTV.

Be Kind

Be Kind!

Hat tip to Father Roderick.

Action Alert: A Free and Safe Wireless Internet Service

Last week I told you about the FCC's plans to auction off unused airwaves to create a free, nationwide wireless Internet service.  The auction has one stipulation: the winning company must provide filters to make the service porn-free.

The ACLU and "free-speech" activists want the FCC to remove the porn-free requirement claiming the porn-ban condition constitutes censorship.

The National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families has established an online petition so that we can let the FCC know that Americans want the family-friendly requirement maintained.

Please take a moment to add your signature to this petition.