Whole Kids Project

What Not To Say To The Pediatrician

The NY Times has an interview with a pediatrician (Dr. Softness!) about mistakes parents make when they visit the doctor's office:

Don’t make promises you may not be able to keep. While parents will want to reassure a child who is afraid of needles, it is far worse to make a promise the doctor cannot keep. Then you have lost trust. I may look at the child’s record and discover she is due for a vaccination. A promise of no needles would mean coming back another time — and the anticipation of coming back for a shot prolongs the agony. Focus on the positives when you are trying to reassure your child about a doctor visit — a favorite toy in the waiting room, the stickers we give at the end of the visit, or the trip to the playground after the appointment.

Don’t try to trick kids. Sometimes parents tell a child he is coming along just to accompany his brother to the doctor, and then surprise him with an exam as well. Even if it’s a harmless ear check, it may not seem so to the child, and he won’t fall for that one again. And he won’t trust you — or me — next time.

We’re not the bad guys. You’d be surprised how often I hear the phrase: “Here comes the mean doctor (or nurse).'’ We do sometimes have to do things that are painful or uncomfortable, but it does not do the child any good to portray us as mean or evil. It makes our job more difficult, and it makes the child think you’re not doing a very good job protecting her if you’re allowing us to do the dirty work. You know it hurts, but we are helping your child, and that is the message you should try to convey.

Don’t sugarcoat too much. You may think that a doctor’s stethoscope on your chest is not much of an issue. But if a toddler is screaming about it, it is to him. Telling him that this doesn’t hurt, or is even fun, doesn’t legitimize his feelings. And further, if he’s just learning the language, the next time you tell him you’re going to the playground to have some fun, he may get the wrong idea.

Don’t tell me your diagnosis. Often parents come in to rule out a single ailment — such as Lyme disease or diabetes. Or they tell me they think their child has another sinus infection or strep throat. They mean well and usually are worried because someone — or often a Web site — told them their child’s symptoms match a particular problem. But, an accurate description of symptoms is much more valuable. As doctors, we don’t presume a sore throat is always strep or frequent urination is always diabetes. It could be any number of things. However, if you have a specific reason to suspect a particular condition (for example, her brother has Lyme disease), it may help in the analysis.

There’s no such thing as a quickie. Squeezing two kids into one appointment isn’t good for your kids, and it’s not fair to the other children in the waiting room. Too often parents will bring a sibling along and ask me to “just check his chest real quick.” But even when the quick exam is normal, it often leads to follow-up questions about what else could be wrong. Each child deserves my full attention.

Let your kids take part in sensitive conversations. There are obviously certain discussions that need to be conducted out of earshot of the child — divorce, unemployment or the parent’s health come immediately to mind. But many times parents don’t want to embarrass their children by discussing other sensitive subjects in front of them, like bedwetting, constipation, weight or poor school performance. Sometimes an entire visit is merely a pretense for the real concern, which the parent finally brings up after a child has left the room. But your child already knows the problem!

Having a parent transmit my advice to the child doesn’t work nearly as well as when the child is involved in the original discussion. If the discussion is handled in a professional matter-of-fact manner, you can almost hear the sigh of relief. (Even if the child makes no eye contact during the conversation, they are definitely listening.) It is never as embarrassing as parents expect it to be.

Dogs Help Kid's Health

From Haaretz.com:

High blood pressure is considered one of the leading causes of death and illness in the western world. It can lead to serious heart disease and, in extreme cases, to fatal strokes. A new study conducted by Dr Michel Balaish, the epidemiologist of the Agriculture Ministry's veterinary services, has revealed that man's best friend could perhaps be off assistance also in this case. The study revealed that the blood pressure
of children in whose home a dog can be found is lower than that of children who do not come into contact with dogs.

The study was conducted in cooperation with the Gertner Institute for Epidemiology, the children's ward at the Sheba Medical Center, Tel Hashomer, and the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. The researchers distributed questionnaires to the parents of 228 children in first to third grades at two elementary schools in Shoham.
In the first stage, the parents were asked whether the child has a dog at home and if so, what kind of relationship the child had developed with the animal. At the same time, the parents were asked about the child's medical history and hereditary diseases in the family. The children themselves underwent tests of weight and height.

In the second stage, the pupils' blood pressure was measured. "Each child went twice for a blood pressure reading in a relaxed manner, that is, he sat relaxing for five minutes and refrained from any kind of activity," said Balaish. "After that, we did repeated tests of the same children in an atmosphere that resembled moderate pressure - they were asked to read aloud a number during the test."

After a comparison of the test results, the researchers concluded that the blood pressure of those children who had a relationship with a dog was lower than those who had no dog.

According to Balaish, there have been numerous studies about the connection between raising dogs and the health of adults, but this is the first time that the connection between blood pressure in children and raising a dog was tested in a study.

"The professional literature states that one third of the children who suffer from high blood pressure will suffer from this problem when they are adults," he said. "This is a characteristic of importance for one's health and one which has implications also for the children's well being in the future."

Balaish is aware that among the vast majority of children aged six to nine, cases of high blood pressure are rare. "Only a few children who were examined in the framework of the study were found to be suffering from unreasonable blood pressure and we brought this to the attention of the parents. But under all circumstances, children in whose home a dog is raised and who take care of it, feed it and play with it - have lower
blood pressure than those who do not have a dog."

The reasons for this, Balaish said, "can be attributed, among other things, to the fact that a child who takes care of a dog does more physical activity because he goes on walks with the dog and plays with it."

Miss Bimbo Makes Bulimia a Game

I really don't know what to say about this other than parents should block the site from their computers now. With the press this site is getting in the US media- it is sure to attract young eyes.

From the Times (UK) Online:

A website that encourages girls as young as 9 to embrace plastic surgery and extreme dieting in the search for the perfect figure was condemned as lethal by parents’ groups and healthcare experts yesterday.

The Miss Bimbo internet game has attracted prepubescent girls who are told to buy their virtual characters breast enlargement surgery and to keep them “waif thin” with diet pills.

Healthcare professionals, a parents’ group and an organisation representing people suffering anorexia and bulimia criticised the website for sending a dangerous message to impressionable children.

In the month since it opened the site, which is aimed at girls aged from 9 to 16, has attracted 200,000 members. Players keep a constant watch on the weight, wardrobe, wealth and happiness of their character to create “the coolest, richest and most famous bimbo in the world”. Competing against other children they earn “bimbo dollars” to buy plastic surgery, diet pills, facelifts, lingerie and fashionable nightclub outfits.

The website sparked controversy when it was introduced in France, where it attracted 1.2 million players.

Dee Dawson, the medical director of Rhodes Farm Clinic, which treats girls aged from 8 to 18 who suffer eating disorders, said: “This is as lethal as pro-anorexia websites. A lot of children will get caught up with the extremely damaging and appalling messages.”

Susan Ringwood, the chief executive of Beat, an organisation that supports those suffering eating disorders, said that the website could make girls believe that weight and body size manipulation were acceptable.

Unbelievable.  Here are some targets that the game sets:

Level 7
After you broke up with your boyfriend you went on an eating binge! Now it’s time to diet . . . Your target weight is less than 132lbs

Level 9
Have a nip and tuck operation for a brand new face. You’ve found work as a plus-size model. To gain those vivacious curves, you need to weigh more than 154lbs

Level 10
Summertime is coming up and bikini weather is upon us. You want to turn heads on the beach don’t you?

Level 11
Bigger is better! Have a breast operation

Level 17
There is a billionaire on vacation . . . You must catch his eye and his love! Good luck

Sex, Marketing, and Philanthropy Don't Mix

A student of journalism and mass communications chimes in on the ethics related to the Abercrombie & Fitch "gift":

Issue No 1. What should the hospital do, ethically? Name a children's ER for a company that doctors and academics say preys on teens' insecurities to sell T-shirts and jeans? Wouldn't giving them naming rights be an implicit "mass communication" endorsement of a practice that is known to damage teens' psyches? Or is the greater good the $10 million to help sick kids (for a charge, of course) and built that ER right away? Ethically, I believe the hospital should say no to naming rights for A&F, a company that historically has taken an arty but sleazy and misogynistic approach to its marketing and advertising. Ethically, a hospital cannot condone mentally or physically unhealthy practices.

Issue No. 2. Would it be ethical for A&F to back out of the pledge if it doesn't get the naming rights? In my opinion, ethically they must pay up regardless of the outcome. It serves no greater good to back out and the company has a duty to keep its word, even if the deal has changed.
Legally, they probably could back out of the pledge without any retribution. But it would be a public relations disaster if they did. They would appear to be heartless and, well, unethical.

Philanthropy, as Dr. Whitmore pointed out last class, is giving something and expecting nothing in return. I am disturbed by this trend of naming rights masquerading as corporate philanthropy. Good corporate citizens shouldn't expect quid pro quo every time they cut a check. By the way, Nationwide paid $50 million for naming rights to this hospital last year. Maybe $100 can get your name on a bedpan there!

Health Leaders: Abercrombie Backlash

Health Leaders Media weighs in on the Abercrombie & Fitch- Nationwide Children's Hospital alliance:

It's still early to tell, but it does seem as though Abercrombie is taking the brunt of the beating on this one.

A psychiatrist quoted in the advocacy group's press release calls Abercrombie & Fitch a "corporate predator." The form letter that group wants supporters to sign reads, in part: "When it comes to sexualizing children, Abercrombie & Fitch is among the worst corporate offenders. These naming rights will entwine an institution of healing with a company whose advertising is notorious for undermining children's wellbeing and will promote the exploitive Abercrombie brand to children in a hospital setting."

So Abercrombie is predatory and exploitive, but the hospital is an institution of healing. And, after all, no one is asking Children's to give back the $10 million.

So what's the problem?

The problem is that the hospital never had control over Abercrombie's brand. And now it's lost control of its own image and message. The popular press and online chatters are not making the distinction that Abercrombie did not buy naming rights for $10 million, but rather the hospital named the trauma center after the company as a way to honor its generosity, as it does for all of its major donors.

It's a subtle but important distinction that's lost in the din of sensationalism, sex, and protests.

Unfortunate Ad Placement

This ad placement was an "accident":

The same cannot be said about Nationwide Children's Hospital's decision to rename its ER the Abercrombie & Fitch Emergency Department and Trauma Center.

Why would a children's hospital (with a stated mission to care for and protect children) purposely and proactively rename its ER after Abercrombie & Fitch ( a brand built on objectifying and sexualizing children)? Hint.

Let Nationwide Children's Hospital know how you feel about them co-branding with a company that repeatedly sexualizes children- the same children the hospital is supposed to be protecting.

Consuming Kids: The Commercialization of Childhood

This summer the Media Education Foundation will release a documentary Consuming Kids: The Commercialization of Childhood.

With virtually no government or public outcry, the multi-billion dollar youth marketing industry has been able to use the latest advances in psychology, anthropology, and neuroscience to transform American children into one of the most powerful and profitable consumer demographics in the world. American kids now influence an estimated $700 billion in annual spending, targeted virtually from birth with a relentless bombardment of sophisticated commercial appeals designed to sell everything from Hollywood merchandise and junk foods to iPods, cell phones, the family car and vacations. The result is that childhood itself has been commercialized. Drawing on the insights of experts, industry insiders, and children themselves, Consuming Kids traces the evolution and impact of this disturbing and unprecedented phenomenon, exposing the youth marketing industry's controversial tactics and exploring the effect of hyper-consumerism on the actual lived experience of children.

Here is the trailer:

Creating a "Safe Corner" on the Web

The Wall St. Journal's Walter Mossberg reviews a new product that helps parents create a safer surfing environment for their kids:

This week marks the launch of a parental-control service with a somewhat different approach. It's called KidZui, and it aims to offer kids a safe subset of the Internet where they can roam freely without triggering parental worry. KidZui, for children ages 3 to 12, hopes to emphasize the positive, rather than the negative.

The service, from a San Diego company of the same name, claims to encompass 500,000 safe sites, photos and videos, ranging from pop culture to science, comics and games to history. You can watch the latest "American Idol" contestant, learn about dinosaurs, delve into history or visit popular kids' sites, such as Webkinz and Club Penguin.

The sites, photos and videos included in KidZui are approved by a team of about 200 parents and teachers across the country, and are ranked by age, so that a site that might be right for an 11-year-old isn't served up to a 4-year-old.

While a child can establish a list of friends in KidZui, and can share content with them, there is no instant-messaging or email function.

KidZui isn't free, and it can't be accessed via a regular Web browser. Instead, you must download a special KidZui browser, from kidzui.com, that runs on either Windows or Macintosh computers. I tested it on both platforms, and it downloaded quickly and installed smoothly.

The service nominally costs $99.95 a year, or $9.95 a month, but there is a 30-day free trial and an introductory rate of $49.95 a year, or $4.95 a month. It has no ads, other than those already present on Web sites kids visit.

Read the entire review here.

Visit kidzui.com.

Woman Fired for Reporting Kiddie-Porn Surfer

From the Campaign for Children and Family:

Librarians across the United States should report child pornography to law enforcement despite their supervisors’ reluctance to protect children, said Campaign for Children and Families, a leading California-based pro-family organization.

County librarian assistant Brenda Biesterfeld of Lindsay, California was fired after disobeying her supervisor’s order NOT to report a man who was looking at naked boys on the library’s public computer. She called police anyway, who, during his next library visit, caught 39-year-old Donny Lynn Chrisler viewing child pornography. Chrisler was arrested March 4 on suspicion of violating child pornography and obscenity laws. Police also found “kiddie porn” in Chrisler’s trailer home.

But Biesterfeld was fired for doing what’s right. “She kind of threatened me,” Biesterfeld said, describing her conversation with her supervisor, Judi Hill. “She said I worked for the county, and when the county tells you to do something, you do what the county tells you. She said I had no loyalty to the county. I told her I was a mother and a citizen also, and not just a county employee.” Biesterfeld was fired on March 6. The letter from Tulare County Librarian Brian Lewis said the county's probationary employees can be terminated at any time if they don't perform at a level “necessary for fully satisfactory performance in the employee's position.” But a Lindsay city councilwoman said six weeks before the firing, she was told Biesterfeld was doing a great job.

On March 14, the City Council of Lindsay has sent a letter to the county supervisors complaining about Judi Hill’s “abrupt, demanding and demeaning” phone call to a police captain telling him to call off his pornography investigation because the city had “no business interfering” with library matters. "The liberals who run the library system in America must stop violating the federal law because they regard child pornography as ‘free speech,’” said Randy Thomasson, president of Campaign for Children and Families. “All pornography is immoral, but possession of child pornography is a federal crime. No librarian should fear reporting child pornography to the police, but libraries that fail to report these crimes should be very afraid. Brenda Biesterfeld will get her job back, and more.” Campaign for Children and Families and Liberty Counsel, a nationwide legal organization, have been in contact with Biesterfeld, with Liberty Counsel representing Biesterfeld at no charge.

The American Library Association does not teach librarians to report child pornography to the police. Instead, ALA has vigorously opposed all Congressional efforts to restrict pornography, obscenity and child pornography for more than a decade. On its website, the ALA says “Libraries should actively oppose proposed legislation that exposes them to new liabilities and negatively impacts intellectual freedom. As always, they should be vigilant about new regulations of free speech.”

UGHHHHH! Child pornography in a public library- protected free speech?

What happens when this perv gets tired of getting his rocks off in front of the computer monitor and drags a kid into the bathroom? This guy should be prosecuted and locked away. At the very least, keep him away from the library and the children of this community.

Let the Tulare County Library know how you feel.

Tell the ALA that they should put the safety of our children before the "rights" of perverts:

Loriene Roy- President of ALA

Jim Rettig- President-Elect of ALA

Hat tip to: RomanCatholicBlog.com

Great Family First Links

Family First is a wonderful organization whose mission is to "strengthen the family by establishing family as a top priority in people's lives and by promoting principles for building marriages and raising children."

Family First currently has three programs: All Pro Dad, iMom, and the Family Minute with Mark Merrill.  Links to all three programs are below and in the Sites We Like section on the right.

All Pro Dad
All Pro Dad is Family First's innovative program helping men to be better fathers. All Pro Dad's 50 NFL spokesmen, multiple NFL seminars, 850 All Pro Dad's Days, and Play of the Day daily emails that reach almost 40,000 fathers each day, all inspire and equip fathers to be actively involved in their children's lives. And every month, over 100,000 fathers log onto AllProDad.com to benefit from insightful fatherhood resources.

Family Minute with Mark Merrill
The Family Minute with Mark Merrill is Family First's daily radio feature that reaches 6,000,000 listeners each week, offering them practical, everyday advice on marriage, parenting and family relationships. The broadcast is heard on over 157 mainstream stations in 34 states, as well as SIRIUS Satellite Radio, XM Satellite Radio and American Forces Network.  And everyday, the free Family Minute email is sent to nearly 75,000 subscribers in a quick-to-read format.

iMom
iMOM is the newest program of Family First and the complement to the organization's popular All Pro Dad fatherhood program. iMOM's unique focus is to equip mothers with information, ideas and encouragement to positively impact their children.

All three programs offer free daily parenting and family advice.

Take a look.